As I sit here writing this reflectionessay, I’m aware that it is the second day after Spring Festival and the Yearof the Rat.  Spring festival is acelebration of the end of a season as we transition from winter intospring.  It is also the end of the year andthis year being the Year of the Rat, signifies the beginning of another twelve-yearcycle of the Chinese Zodiac.  So it is atime of transitions.  The irony is ofcourse that we are rather immobile during the transience of this holiday seasonbecause of the coronavirus.  Howtroublesome and inconvenient.

我正坐在这儿着手写这篇值得深思的论文，我意识到这是鼠年春节的第二天。春节是一个庆祝由冬天过渡到春天的节日。这也是中国农历中上一个十二生肖周期的结束，和新的十二生肖中农历子鼠年的伊始。

所以这是一个过渡时期。但与之相反的是在这个假期里由于冠状病毒，人们正在经历短暂的隔离期。可以想象这是多么的令人烦恼和不便。

On the other hand, is there ever aconvenient time for suffering and sickness to befall us?  It is times like this that we realize that weare not in control of things as much as we like.  We’d like to think that we’re in control butwe’re not.  Certainly we need a modicumof control to live our lives but I’m reminiscent of a popular saying in Englishthat reminds us that Men Plan, God Laughs. I have plans to visit my loved ones this week and then travel to thePhilippines to conduct a retreat. Thepossibility that these plans are in jeopardy is not at all a laughingmatter.  It is troublesome and anxietyprovoking.  How risky will it be for meto travel?  I don’t know.  The news changes on a daily basis.  What is funny and perhaps even absurd is theillusion that things will always go according to my plan.  Intellectually of course, I know this is notthe case.  However, in my heart, I loatheto surrender myself to this sense of unpredictability and perhaps a granderplan in place.

另一方面，是否有一个合适或者方便的时间让疾病和痛苦降临在我们身上呢？其实正是在现在这样的时代，我们能意识到自己无法控制我们想要的东西。我们想让自己认为一切都在掌控之中但其实并没有。

我们也当然需要一些控制才能过上我们的生活，这使我想起来一句流行的英文谚语：“人们计划着，上帝却在嘲笑着。”就像我计划了这周去看看我的亲人，然后去菲律宾静修。这些计划面临的危险性不是开玩笑的事情，这非常麻烦，也非常令人不安和担忧。

这个旅程会有多冒险？我不知道。新闻每天都在改变和更新。而有趣而荒谬的一种幻想确是，觉得事情总会按照自己的计划进行。当然从理智上来说，我知道情况并非如此。然而，在我的内心深处，我不愿让自己屈服于这种不可预测性，或许还有一个更宏伟的计划。

The Chinese idiom reminds us thatcrisis contain both danger and opportunities. The coronavirus has brought about inconvenience and much anxiety anduncertainty.  It awakened us to ourexistence.  Rollo May, the imminentAmerican existential psychologist (teacher, colleague and therapist to IrvinYalom) reminded us in his book The Meaning of Anxiety that “Anxiety is not an affect, among otheraffects such as pleasure or sadness.  Itis rather an ontological characteristic of man, rooted in his very existence .. . It is not a peripheral threat which I can take or leave or a reaction whichmay be classified among other reactions; it is always a threat to thefoundations, the center of my existence. Anxiety is the experience of the threat of imminent non-being.” [1]  Similarly, the UK based existentialpsychologist Ernesto Spinelli wrote that:

中国有句俗语告诉我们，危机中蕴藏着危险和机遇。冠状病毒给人们带来了不便，也带来了很多焦虑和不确定性。它唤醒了我们的存在。罗洛·梅是一位美国存在主义心理学家(欧文·亚龙的老师、同事和治疗师)，在他的著作《焦虑的意义》中提醒我们:

“ 焦虑不是一种情感，不是如愉悦或悲伤之类的情感。它是人类的一种根植于存在之中的本体特征… 它不是一种我们可以接受或离开的外部威胁；也不是一种可以被归类的反应；它始终对我们存在的根基和中心构成威胁。焦虑是对即将来临的‘不存在’而产生的威胁体验。”

类似地，英国存在主义心理学家埃内斯托·斯皮内利写道:

Existential-phenomenological theory presents us with a viewof human existence that places anxiety as its center.  It suggests that our experience of living isnever certain, never predictable, never secure. Instead, our very embracing of life presents us with all manner of ‘challenges’:  challenges to the meanings we have built upand live by, challenges to the aims and purposes with which we imbue our lives,challenges, indeed, to the very continuation of our existence.  [2] Our response to any or all of thesechallenges can range from the attempt to create a protected environment thatwill repel any perceived threats to our sense of physical or psychologicalsecurity, to the undertaking to foster a chaotic lifestyle which,paradoxically, fixes its meaning and purposes upon the unwavering belief that ‘allis meaningless’.  Whatever the response,however, what is significant is that the response itself expresses thestance we take toward our relations with the world.  It is, in a sense, our unique ‘language’ throughwhich we engage in dialogue both with ourselves and others.

存在主义现象理论为我们提供了一个以焦虑为中心的人类存在的视角。它表明，我们的生活经历从来都是不确定的，不可预测的，不安全的。相反，我们拥抱着的生命给我们提出各种各样的“挑战”：

挑战我们已经建立和赖以生存的生命意义，挑战我们一直以来被灌输的关于生活的目标和目的。

挑战，事实上是我们存在的延续。我们对任何或所有这些挑战的反应范围，从试图创建一个受保护的环境，以击退任何可感知的对我们身心安全感的威胁，到致力于养成一种混乱的生活方式，这反而将其意义和目的建立在“一切都是无意义的”这一坚定不移的信念之上。

然而，无论作出何种反应，重要的是反应本身表达了我们对与世界关系的立场。从某种意义上讲，这是我们独特的“语言”，通过它，我们既与自己对话，也与他人对话。

In the existential framework, anxietyis so riveted to existence that it has a different connotation from the wayanxiety is regarded in other frames of reference. The existential therapisthopes to alleviate crippling levels of anxiety but not to eliminate it. Lifecannot be lived (nor can death be faced) without anxiety.

在存在主义框架中，焦虑与存在如此紧密地联系在一起，以至于它的内涵与在其他参照系中看待焦虑的方式不同。存在主义治疗师希望减轻严重的焦虑，但不是消除它。没有焦虑，生命就无法存在（死亡也无法面对）。

The therapist’s task, as Rollo Mayteaches us is to reduce anxiety to tolerable levels and then to use the anxietyconstructively.  May wrote that: “Whatanxiety means is it's as though the world is knocking at your door, andyou need to create. You need to make something. You need to do something. And Ithink anxiety, thus, is for people who have found their own heart andtheir own souls. For them it is a stimulus toward creativity, towardcourage. It's what makes us human beings.” One of the ways that anxiety is knocking on my door and thus beseechingme for a response is the writing of this essay. It is part of my stance and response to my own existential anxiety thatis awakened by the coronavirus.  Takingmy cue from May, writing this essay reminds me that anxiety can be bothcrippling and empowering.  Thatcreativity not medication is the response to anxiety as it comes knocking on mydoor.

正如罗洛·梅教给我们的，治疗师的任务是将焦虑降低到可承受的水平，然后建设性地利用这种焦虑。梅写道:焦虑意味着，就好像世界在敲你的门，你需要创造。你需要制作些东西。你需要去做些事情。

因此，我认为焦虑是为那些找到了自己的心和灵魂的人准备的。对他们来说，焦虑是对创造力和勇气的一种刺激。焦虑使得我们人类之所以成为人类。焦虑敲着我的门，恳求我做出回应的方式之一就是让我来写这篇文章。这是我的立场的一部分，也是我对自身存在的焦虑的回应，这种焦虑被冠状病毒唤醒了。

我从梅那里得到了启示，写下这篇文章提醒我，焦虑虽会让人崩溃，但也会让人充满力量。当焦虑来敲门时，对其的反应应该是用我的创造力而不是使用药物。

Indeed this Spring Festival is quitedifferent from Spring Festivals of the past. It is not quite as festive as before. There is a somberness to the whole experience.  I believe a large part of this is due to theanxiety of the times.  The sombernessbrings about some dysphoria and heightens my sense of loneliness andisolation.  Normally I relish the senseof solitude and tranquility that Beijing gifts to me during the Spring FestivalHolidays.  I enjoy the uncongestedemptiness of the city as it affords me time to reflect and work on a fewwriting projects.  But along with thisappreciation, I’m awakened to the co-existing isolation that is part of theemptiness.  I know that I’m not alone inthis because this year, I see more lights on in residences that were emptybefore.  I realize that I’m not the onlymigrant worker who is far from home. Furthermore, I cannot imagine what the people of Wuhan and other citiesmust be experiencing for they are quarantined and separated from their lovedones and face the prospect of a very uncertain near future.  This brings to home for me that isolation isindeed an unavoidable part of existence.  Yet ironically at the same time, knowing that I’m not alone inexperiencing my isolation brings a degree of comfort.  So while I feel a strong sense ofhelplessness towards those who are quarantined, I want them to know that theyare not alone in their isolation.

的确，这个春节和以往大不同，没有了以前节庆的欢闹氛围，给人感觉很阴郁。相信这很大部分是因为现在的时局造成的。这种阴郁的氛围让人焦燥不安，同时也加深了我的孤独感和隔离感。往年，我喜欢北京春节期间帶给我的孤独和宁静，它让我有自由时间来完成一些写作项目。

然而，伴随着这种对孤独的欣赏，我被唤醒到共存的孤立中，那是空虚的一部分。今年，我知道我并不孤单，因为我看到住宅楼里以往新年期间黑漆漆的屋子里有了很多灯光。我意识到我不是唯一一个离家在外的工作者。

因此，我联想到了武汉人及其他城市的人们正在经受的一切，他们被迫隔离，与他们深爱的家人分开而且不知道近期和未来局势如何发展。

这让我又意识到了孤独是生存中不可缺少的一部分。然而，让人哑然失笑的是，很多人和我一样在这种隔离的孤独中体会到了一些舒适。所以，我们要告知那些被隔离的人这种微妙的舒适感，而非强化他们强烈的无助感。

Taoists, existential philosophers andpsychologists teach me that life and death are not sequential but simultaneousand interdependent.  It is not so muchthat death follows life and that Spring follows Winter.  Instead, the seeds of life are buried in thebarren trees of my nearby park and the leaves that drop from their brancheswill fertilize the foliage that will arrive in the Spring.  This reminds me of the quote by the Frenchexistential philosopher Albert Camus that “in the depth of winter, I foundwithin myself an invincible summer.”  Peopleand life are resilient.  One of the mainquestions that is being researched right now is how virulent and resilient isthe coronavirus.  In the midst of thisinvestigation, let us not forget that people can be exceptionally resilient aswell.  Having a sustaining meaning tolive for, the vast majority of people are able to endure great suffering andwill bounce back from trauma. Comparisons are made between the SARS crisis in 2003 and even the 2008 earthquakein Sichuan.  I recall images of rows uponrows of temporary housing set up for the displaced survivors near the center ofthe earthquake.  Most of them have nowreconstituted their lives though I’m sure the scars from the earthquake remain.  I lived and worked in Southern China duringthe SARS crisis and recall the contrast between the people in Hong Kong whowere nearly all masked with the people near Guangzhou who were not.  Now as I walk around Beijing, the majority ofthe people are wearing masks.  We’velearned and now relate to death anxiety differently.  The SARS epidemic tested and strengthened ourresilience.  I had in friend in Hong Kongwho flew for Cathay Pacific which nearly went bankrupt as the result of theSARS epidemic.  Out of necessity, theairlines give him a choice of leaving the airlines or remain for a significantreduction in salary.  Lean timesindeed.  It was a painful time for myfriend to ponder how great was his love of flying or perhaps it was a time tomove on to a different career.  Hedecided to remain with the airlines.  Inthe midst of the crisis, he found within himself an invincible summer for neverdid he believe he would be so severely tested or how little he could actuallylive on.

道家、存在主义哲学家和心理学家教导我生与死不是顺序的，而是同时的、相互依存的。与其说死亡紧跟着生命，不如说春天紧跟着冬天。相反，生命的种子被埋在我附近公园的光秃秃的树上，从树枝上掉落的叶子会给春天到来的树叶施肥。

这让我想起了法国存在主义哲学家阿尔贝·加缪(AlbertCamus)的一句话:“在隆冬时节，我发现自己内心有一个不可战胜的夏天。”“人和生活都是有韧性的。”

目前研究的主要问题之一是冠状病毒的毒性和适应性。在调查的过程中，让我们不要忘记，人也可以具有非凡的适应力。大多数人都有一个持续的生活意义，他们能够忍受巨大的痛苦，并从创伤中恢复过来。

人们将2003年的非典危机与2008年的四川地震相提并论。

我回想起在地震中心附近为流离失所的幸存者搭建的一排排临时房屋的画面。他们中的大多数现在已经重建了他们的生活，尽管我相信地震留下的伤疤还在。

在非典危机期间，我在中国南方生活和工作，回想起香港人几乎都戴着口罩与广州附近的人不戴口罩的对比。现在，当我在北京四处走动时，大多数人都戴着口罩。我们已经学过了，现在对死亡焦虑有了不同的理解。非典疫情检验了我们的应变能力。

我在香港有一个朋友，他是国泰的空乘人员，由于非典疫情，国泰航空公司差点破产。出于必要，航空公司给了他一个选择，要么离开航空公司，要么留下大幅减薪。的确是不景气。

对我的朋友来说，那是一段痛苦的时光，他开始思考自己对飞行的热爱有多深，或许是时候换一份不同的职业了。他决定留在航空公司。在这场危机中，他发现自己内心有一个不可战胜的夏天，因为他从未相信自己会受到如此严峻的考验，也从未相信自己可以靠如此少的资源生活。

The SARS epidemic left its marks uponme as well.  I was travelling betweenTaiwan and Southern China at that time for work.  Consequently, I carried on a long-distancerelationship with my girlfriend who remained in Taiwan.  As the SARS epidemic intensified, we wereforced to be separated due to fact that I would have been quarantined for aperiod of time were I to return to Taiwan. This extensive period of separation put an end to our relationship.  It’s tempting to blame SARS for our breakupbut it is more accurate to say that our relationship was not resilient enoughto survive SARS.  The breakup of therelationship took place during the forced separation.  She told me via the phone that she had foundsomeone else.  I remember taking numerouslong walks as I worked through the pain and grief of the end of thatrelationship.  Yet I too survived thebreakup and the SARS epidemic.  We areall much more resilient than we think and looking back, I now know that thereis a grander plan in place.

非典也在我身上留下了印记。当时我在台湾和华南地区奔波出差，因此，不得不和留在台湾的女朋友开始了异地恋。可是随着非典疫情的加剧，我们无法重聚，因为如果我回到台湾，我将被隔离一段时间。这段长期的分离让我们的恋爱关系走到了尽头。

表面上，将我们的分手归咎于“非典”似乎再合适不过了，但更准确的说法是，我们的关系没有足够的“免疫力”来挺过“非典”。这段关系是在被迫分居期间破裂的，她打电话告诉我说她已经找到了新的对象。

我还记得那次分手带给我的伤痛让我久久无法释怀，我经常出门散步，一走就是好半天。然而，最终我不仅挺过了分手还挺过了非典疫情。我们都比自己想象的更有韧性。现在回想起来，我深感这里一定有一个更宏伟的计划正在酝酿中。

I’m learning more about surrenderingto the mystery that is beyond me.  Let ustake this day by day and cherish what we have. I cannot imagine what it is like to have lost a loved one to thecoronavirus.  Yet I’m reminded that on adaily basis, we’ve all lost loved ones to disease and old age.  It is not only the coronavirus that leaves usquarantined, inconvenienced and unable to travel.  A severe cold will do the same, not tomention cancer.  I write this not tobelittle the seriousness of the current crisis. That would be foolish.  Insteadwhat I wish to share is how the current crisis has at time awakened me fromwhat the German existential philosopher Martin Heidegger termed my everydaymode of existence to a more ontological mode of existence.  One in which I “marvels not about the waythings are but that they are.”  A mode of existence where I am “authentic,responsible for choice, aware and transcendent.  Embracing my possibilities and limits; facingabsolute freedom and nothingness – and is anxious in the face of them.”

我正在学习向我无法想象的神秘力量臣服。让我们日复一日地珍惜我们所拥有的，我无法想象在冠状病毒感染下失去亲人的感觉。但现在我每天都被提醒着，我们都会因疾病和年老而失去亲人。不仅是冠状病毒让我们被隔离、不便和无法旅行，重感冒也一样，更不用说癌症了。我写这篇文章不是为了贬低当前危机的严重性，那太愚蠢了。

相反，我想分享的是当前的危机是如何使我从德国存在主义哲学家马丁·海德格尔所说的我日常生活方式的存在到更具本体论的存在方式，一个让我“惊奇的不是事物存在的方式，而是它们的存在本身”。一种我是“真实的、对选择负责任的、有意识的、卓越的的存在方式，拥抱我的可能性和极限；面对绝对的自由和虚无——面对他们是感到焦虑的。”

Finally, a colleague and friendrecently shared this poem with me which nearly moved me to tears.  I’d like to share this poem with you as a wayto bring an end this this essay.  It istitled For All of Us:  For Those Who HaveFar to Travel by Jan Richardson.  It isbeautiful and most likely the poet’s own response to the existential anxietyknocking on his door.

最后，一位同事兼朋友近期给我分享了这首诗，让我潸然泪下。在此，将这首诗和大家分享，以此作为这篇论文的结尾。诗名《给大家：致远行者》，作者贾恩·理查森。诗词优美，也很可能是当“存在主义焦虑”敲他的门时，诗人自己所做出的反应。

作者：杨吉膺（Mark Yang）。美国注册临床心理学家，国际存在-人本心理学院院长，美国塞布鲁克大学心理学教授，专业领域包括：个体及团体咨询、哀伤及丧亲辅导、临床工作有法律及伦理道德议题、跨文化心理学等。

翻译组：杨眉/何睿璇/陈琼/李俊杰/黄准/周莉娜/刘珍/吴于勤/李丹燕/刘豌/刘妮（排名不分先后）

声明：本站内容与配图部分转载于网络，我们不做任何商业用途，由于部分内容无法与原作者取得联系，如有侵权请联系我们删除，联系方式请点击【侵权删稿】。